Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Free Scooter Libby - Save us all a headache and let him out of jail.

I am all in favor of hard justice when it is dolled out to spoiled heiresses, axe murderers, and dog beaters. I am also in favor of mob justice, at least on TV, because bad guys shooting other bad guys seems to cut out the middle man and saves the taxpayer a few bucks.

What I am not in favor of is keeping some Washington inside man in jail when the damage to his career and to the administration has already been done. Who pays for Scooter going to jail? The taxpayers do. What end does it serve? None. Nor does it justify the crime. He wasn’t convicted of treason - he was convicted of badly covering his tracks. His incompetence shouldn’t be a crime to be punished with hard time. Instead, get creative, blind justice lady, and give him soft time.

If you want the slimy hack Libby to truly suffer, make him do a yearlong internship at Greenpeace or, better yet, at Amnesty International. He can be the Intern in charge of counting all of the dead Iraqi civilians killed each day because of the war he helped spin us into. There is nothing more dehumanizing than being an intern – especially for a cause you loathe.

Lewis “Scooter” Libby, the man with the most famous nickname in Washington (incidentally – it is the same name I give my dog when she is wiping her butt across the kitchen floor) has little to offer the correctional system. When Watergate broke, former Nixon advisor Chuck Colson went to Jail and then gave his life to Jesus, and has been nice to people ever since. Colson, however, didn’t work for Darth Vader (no he worked WITH him not FOR him – big difference). Scooter was Darth Cheney’s Chief of Staff – it is reasonable to assume he’s too far gone to the Dark Side to ever return.

Damn pity too since I think we could have all benefited from a Born Again Scooter. If there’s one thing the nation needs more it is another evangelicals with a juvenile nickname.

So pardon Libby, Mr. President. It can’t hurt your approval rating. It only confirms your core values. Scooter is probably the most Bushlike of all your hacks. 1) He is loyal 2) he is unquestionably steadfast 3) He is quietly sinister 4) Based on the Iraq intelligence, he is obviously is bad at asking questions 5) He loves Dick . . . Cheney. 6) He has a cool nickname. 7) He is incompetent.

Seven reasons to pardon him and I am sure there are many, many, more.

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